A Kitsune's Serpent
by Voivod
Summary: What if the Hokage knew what would happen if he placed Team 7 with Hatake Kakashi? What if he placed them with mitarashi Anko Instead?


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Did you hear the news?"

"No, what?"

"Uchiha Sasuke's Jounin sensei is… Mitarashi Anko!"

"What!? The snake bitch!?!"

"NO!"

Here another voice cut in "I heard Hatake Kakashi wanted to be the Uchiha's sensei, but the Sandaime talked to him, and he hasn't brought it up since."

"Really?"

"Yes. That's not all. Sasuke was saddled with the … brat."

"Huh? Has the Hokage gone senile?"

Clear blue eyes, narrowed as they processed the information given to him by the Unwitting villagers. _So, I'm with Sasuke eh? Kuso. But our sensei sounds interesting…_With that the orange clad twelve year old sped off towards the Academy, leaving the still gossiping villagers behind.

"… And now for Team Seven, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto." Here Sakura let out an ear piercing squeal. Causing everyone in a 20 foot radius to wince, Naruto's face was split in a wide grin as he heard his crush was on the same team. Then Iruka sent him a pity filled and regretful look. "Team Seven's sensei will be Mitarashi Anko."

As if on cue, there was a crash as the window behind Iruka shattered as a violet colored ball flew through the window, before it unfurled revealing one Mitarashi Anko in all her fishnet glory. "Hey brats, It's me the extremely sexy and still single Mitarashi Anko." Team seven's sensei bowed to imaginary applause as the class stared at her and the banner behind her that read. 'MITARASHI ANKO'.

Pouting, the konuchi turned around, towards the broken window. " Fine then, spoil the party. Now come on brats, follow meeeee." With the last drawn out word she hopped out the window.

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura shared a look saying 'That crazy bitch is our Sensei.' Shrugging, the self-proclaimed avenger slowly stood up from his seat and went to follow Anko. Not waiting to be left behind by her obsession Sakura rushed after him, her sandals making a loud clacking sound. "Oi! Wait for me!" Naruto called out as he ran and jumped through the broken window to land on the ground below.

There awaiting him were Sasuke and Sakura, and Anko who was munching on some dango. "Took you long enough gaki." Naruto growled at the women causing her to smirk. "Hm, feisty, I like that in a man. Of course you're hardly fit to be called a man." "Why you…" Whatever Naruto was going to say next was cut off as a thrown kunai scraped along his cheek. "Feisty ones are always the first to be killed as well." The Genin froze as Anko's voice spoke in to his ear, her fishnet clothing pressing against his side, then she licked up the blood before leaping away.

Naruto's move moved but no words came out, to the Jounin's amusement. "While id wearing the please-kill-me now outfit recovers, we're going to introduce ourselves." Anko announced with away too much cheer.

"I'm Mitarashi Anko. I like sake, blood and dango. My dislikes are Orochimaru and your too young to know about my hobbies and I don't want to tell you about my dream. Pinky you're next!" Sakura blinked in shock at being addressed in such away before she started. "U-um, I'm Haruno Sakura. I like… I dislike Naruto and Ino-pig. My hobbies are… my dreams are…" Every time she paused, Sakura would glance at the clearly not listening Sasuke and blush causing Anko to roll her eyes. When he heard her dislikes Naruto face faulted.

Turning to Naruto who was slowly getting up, Anko spoke. "Ok Blondie if you're recovered enough to face fault you can introduce you're self." Naruto energetically nodded. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto!!! I like Sakura-Chan, ramen and the color orange! I dislike Sasuke-teme and the time it takes ramen to cook! My hobbies are eating ramen and learning jutsu. I hope to become the Hokage!!!" Anko rubbed her ears as the genin finished his loud introduction. "Can you be any louder, I sure there are people in Kirigakure who didn't hear you. Ok emo-boy it's your turn."

"Don't call Sasuke-kun that!" Sakura screeched at her sensei. The special jounin stared unnerving at Sakura with her snake eyes. "You brats, are my students I can do what I want with you, call you what I want, when ever I want. Am I clear?" A little killing intent had leaked in to Anko's words, causing Sakura to fearfully nod her head. Her cheer back Anko started expectantly at Sasuke waiting for him to speak.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke. I have many dislikes and not many likes. My hobbies are training and my dream no ambition is to kill a certain man." Here Anko laughed "You think a little shit-stain like you could hope to even touch Itachi!?" Sasuke's glare would have burned right through Anko, leaving her as little more than a pile of ash. "… You know nothing!" he hissed through clenched teeth. Still chuckling, Anko shrugged.

Naruto looked back and forth between his Sensei and rival, his expression one of pure confusion. He nudged Sakura and whispered " Ano, who's this Itachi they're talking about." She sent him a glare before whispering "You mean you don't know, baka? A few years ago Sasuke's older brother killed all of the Uchiha Clan except for Sasuke, and he was only thirteen years old!" Naruto gasped in surprised before recovering with indignation "I am not a baka I just…" He was saved from letting something slip by Anko's intervention. "If you two are done whispering sweet nothings to each other, I have an important announcement to make."

That remark caused two heads to whip towards here, one blushing and stuttering out denials while the other was livid and shouted at the Sensei. Smirking, the jounin waved her hand in dismissal "Yeah, yeah what ever. Anyways, Out of the 27 graduates only 9 become actual Genin."

"WHAT? What do you mean!?!?"

"B-but the genin test!"

"…Hm…"

Anko laughed at the three want-a-be ninja's outbursts. "Heh. The test is only ment to see who has the potential to become Genin. You still have to prove you have what it takes… with Survival Testing." Her lips curled up at the thought of what torture she would put her three brats through. _Perhaps the bell test. No too easy… I know,!_

As she came back from her reverie she noticed two brats staring at her expectantly. "What? Have you brats never seen one think before?" "No, I had said we've already done survival testing in the Academy." Sakura answered. Anko's smirk grew even wider and her serpentine eyes glittered with a sort of insane glee. " Not this kind you haven't! Meet me at training field 44 tomorrow at six o'clock. Let's just say I have a special punishment for those who are late." She announced this with far too much glee in Naruto and Sakura's opinions.

"Well I'm off brats. See you tomorrow!" With a cheeky wave Anko disappeared in to swirl of leaves.

Blinking the three Genin stared at each other incredulously. " Sasuke-kun would you go out one a date with me?" Sakura asked blushing as she started at her crush,, awaiting the answer she hoped would come. Closing his eyes Sasuke got up and just walked away not even looking back at his teammates. Sakura slumped down her dreams once again crushed. "Don't worry Sakura-chan! You can go out with mE!" Naruto's voice spoke placing special emphasis on the word me. Growling with fury she turned towards Naruto and punched him in the mouth that had dared speak those words to her. " No, Naruto." With that simple dismissal she walked after the last Uchiha.

Groaning Naruto rubbed his jaw. "A simple no would've sufficed, Sakura-chan." Depressed from yet another rejection Naruto trudged of to Ichiraku's to meet with Iruka-sensei for Ramen. Brightening up at the thought, the demon carrier picked up his pace., unaware of Anko's eyes on him. _So that's the Kyuubi Child? Very interesting… Nice ass too. _

A/N: Well theres the first chapter weighing in at 1,339 words. Future chapters will be longer.


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